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Jorah had returned to her.

It was late at night, and Daenerys couldn't sleep. It felt unreal. Last time she had seen her Bear had been outside of Vaes Dothrak, when he had helped rescue her. She had commanded him to find a cure for his affliction. Though she refused to give up hope, she had known there was a good chance she would never see him again. It had hurt her heart to watch him walk away.

But he returned to me. It was a good thing Jon Snow and her Dothraki guards had been there, else she might have broken down crying from relief and joy. That would not have been queenly of her. She had missed him more than words could say, and there was much she wanted to tell him and hear his thoughts on. For now, though, she needed her rest.

But rest was eluding her.

Dany tossed and turned in bed, a million thoughts racing through her mind. Cersei, Meereen, the North, Jon Snow's tales of a mysterious threat beyond the wall...there was so much work to be done, and decisions to be made. Yet her thoughts kept returning to Jorah. He appeared healthy and strong, and...

And the way he looked at her had made her heart skip a beat.

By the time dawn came, she had only slept a few hours. Daenerys had been pushing herself hard lately, so it wasn't unusual for her to retire late and start the day early. She bathed, dressed, and left her chambers, feeling restless.

So were the dragons. She joined them on the beach, Unsullied guards nearby but far enough away for privacy. Her children surrounded her, waiting impatiently for attention. "Good morning," she called out, smiling. When she was with her dragons, her spirit always felt lighter, and her mind became clearer.

Date: 2019-10-08 01:52 pm (UTC)
restrainer: (⑫)
From: [personal profile] restrainer
One by one, the room emptied, and one by one, Jorah felt his fingers curl in around his other hand, squeezing at it to keep himself quiet and patient. There was a chill to the room, something more than just the late night breeze coming in through the windows, bringing the scent of the ocean salt with it, and even with the heavy door closed, it felt stuffy, crowded with emotion and words left unspoken.

Of all things, he should have expected her anger. He should have expected frustration and disbelief, and perhaps even hurt, but somehow it still came as a surprise to him. Part of him had thought she might be pleased, as though his willingness to see it through to the end might be admirable. That she might take some pleasure in his loyalty to her. But Daenerys whirled on him with disapproval splashed across her features, and yet he stood tall, his jaw locked, listening silently to her sharp words.

"It would not do, my Queen. This is something we all must resolve. Together," he managed, in a soft, even tone. He couldn't tell what she was more upset about--that he had volunteered to go and help someone who still would not bend the knee, or that he had volunteered to leave so soon after returning.

"He needs the help. If it brings us one step closer to your Throne, is it not necessary that I help us take that step?"

Date: 2019-10-10 04:50 am (UTC)
restrainer: (㉞)
From: [personal profile] restrainer
Perhaps in another time, after his betrayal, Jorah would have worried that this could be the last straw. He would have worried that the tense bow of her jaw might snap, that her words would lash out at him, that her anger and frustration with his choices might be too much to keep them together, and that she would send him away again, far away, so as never to be seen by her eyes again. Yet here, as they stood, he found that he did not worry--he did not even think once that she might grow so weary of him as to remove him from everything entirely. Their morning on the beach had changed something; he felt as secure in his position as he ever had. All of his secrets were bared to her--he had nothing left to hide, nothing to protect but his Queen, his Khaleesi.

And if going to the lands beyond the Wall would help protect her, then he would volunteer over and over and over again to do so.

"I was a man of the North, Khaleesi," he said, though he knew she did not need the reminder. Truthfully, Bear Island was such a small but fierce part of the snowy winterlands that it could be easy to be overlooked, and he had never been up to the Wall himself. He did not truly know what lingered beyond it, or what might find them there--besides what Jon Snow had described.

"I do not fear what might be waiting for us on this journey. I only fear that in staying behind, I will not be serving you to the best of my ability."

One of his hands lingered faintly on his sword hilt, as though reassuring himself of it. He was a knight, after all--and he could still fight, especially for her. Yet something felt peculiar, as though even Daenerys was not sure of why she was protesting.

Gently, his voice continued. "You do not have to worry. I will return again, you know."

Date: 2019-10-12 10:12 am (UTC)
restrainer: (⑫)
From: [personal profile] restrainer
A breath knocked out of him, quiet at first, and in it there was the feeling of disappointment, a panging in his heart. Perhaps it would be the last time they would be able to speak in confidence like this, and he felt almost disheartened leaving it this way, as though he had done something that could not be forgiven. When she came to see him off, after all, it would in the presence of others; it would be in a place where they would have to be proper, and he would have to steel himself for the kind of gentle yet commanding farewell that a Queen might give to her knight.

Yet she did not seem to be content with this parting, either. When she turned on her heels, Jorah's eyes went round, and the kiss to his cheek was so soft and so gentle that part of him wanted to reach out and take her by the arm, to pull her close in against himself and return the favor.

But he would not do it. It was not his place to, nor did he have the right to. She knew his feelings--and he knew they were not returned. So he smiled, but it was faint, full of a longing he knew he would have to get under control. Perhaps the cold of the North might help him, might have him bury those feelings deep down, freeze them beneath his heart.

"I will return, Khaleesi," he said softly, before she turned to leave.

He found it hard to move, at first, as though rooted by the kiss, as though she had somehow turned him to stone with it.

"I will return," he said again, but it seemed only to be to reassure himself.

Date: 2019-10-16 02:30 pm (UTC)
restrainer: (⑯)
From: [personal profile] restrainer
It was a morning with clouds and fog, a morning where the dragons were conspicuously absent, as though Daenerys had feared they would cause some kind of disruption in the moods of men who were already uneasy about their long travels. After time aboard the ship, they would have to march to The Wall and then still beyond it, into snow storms and bounds of ice, and Jorah feared that not all would return as bravely as they were to venture forward. Squinting up at the sky, he found that he would miss the slight chill to the air, the warm breeze of salt water off the ocean, and the feel of the sand hard beneath his boots. Most of all, he feared he would miss Daenerys--that he would be unable to think of much else on the long journey ahead of him.

She had her respects to pay to all of the men, of course, and he was both quiet and patient, a solid presence behind them all, until his turn came, and she approached him with a smile that spoke of the volumes she could not and would not say. Her eyes peered up at him as they always had, like the violet sheen of them saw through any sort of wall or blockade he would possibly put up, and when he smiled back, it was soft and quiet.

"I will think of nothing else, Khaleesi," he reassured her, "...but my promise to you."

He knew, somehow, that this would not be their last meeting. He was not meant to expire past the Wall; he would return to her, somehow, in some way. He would not let their last moments together be in the presence of other men milling about, orders being shouted and supplies prepared.

"And in return, perhaps you can think of me." He chuckled a little, before he turned to glance at the ships, heaving a deep breath. He should go, and yet he found himself waiting, as though there could possibly be something else for her to offer him.

Date: 2019-10-19 01:43 pm (UTC)
restrainer: (㉜)
From: [personal profile] restrainer
Although he had expected something--perhaps a hand squeeze, or maybe just another longing rake of her gaze across him that he could not quite interpret--Jorah was surprised to see the pouch. Part of him thought to insist she keep whatever it was to herself; after all, she needed protection, too, and more direly than he did. To the world, he was simply a shamed man who had found some small way of redeeming his mistakes through his support of their true Queen, and could not, or would not, ever deserve such a gift as the one she prepared to give him.

But he found that he could not refuse it. He could not look at her and hand it back, so he closed it into his palm, wrapped his fingers firmly around it and held it up, close to his heart.

"I shall carry it well, Khaleesi," he vowed, but there was a solemness to his voice that he could not quite imitate. Whatever it was, as light as it could be, it felt heavy to him, as though she were entrusting him with something precious and rare.

Aboard the ship, he opened the pouch.

Aboard the ship, he slipped the braided leather over his neck, tucked the weight of the ring in beneath his tunic.

And in the North, he clutched at the ring and prayed, begged for the Gods--whichever Gods, he did not care--to watch over his Khaleesi, to protect her from danger once he was gone.

Because there was danger, there, beyond the Wall, and it appeared to be danger he would never return from.

Date: 2019-10-20 09:22 am (UTC)
restrainer: (⑤)
From: [personal profile] restrainer
Jorah could not leave. Not like this, not with the wights still coming for them, and inching closer and closer to where Daenerys waited upon Drogon's back, as though they sought to take her with them, as though they wished to drag her screaming into the pit of them all to become a silver-haired wisp of the undead. The rest of the party were climbing up onto Drogon's back, grasping for scales and horns and hoisting up their captured prey onto the beast, and Jorah knew that he could not simply turn tail and run to join them. They needed the distraction--they needed the opportunity to get his Queen and the North's King out of this icy hell. Shouting, he fought his way forward, his sword cutting through bone and withered flesh, ripping through tattered clothes and small, meager weapons that tried to cut at them.

He could hear the screams of her children--Rhaegal and Viserion still circled around them in the air, lighting up wights as though they were little matches, capable of huge fire that spread out among them, torching their enemies. He couldn't focus on it; he had to put his energy into what was in front of him, and if he had to die out here, then at least he would die doing something righteous and good, and perhaps they would write songs of his bravery, and perhaps his Queen would remember him, years along, when she took her throne safely.

He could hear Drogon screech, as he took flight, and his heart sank. He knew he had to keep Daenerys safe--and the safest place to be was, perhaps, in the air. Yet in front of him, so close and yet still with so much distance between them, was the man that Jon Snow had called The Night King, the one with deep blue eyes and an almost frighteningly pale face, so devoid of anything but hatred that Jorah could not look at him.

"Khaleesi!" Jorah shouted out over the mayhem, the sound of dragons and wights mixing into a painful cacophony. "You must leave! Leave!"

For there were spears there, long blades of icicle that Jorah knew would sail through the air, and his breath felt painful in his throat. If he were to hit Drogon--if they were to come crashing down--

"Go," Jorah shouted again, even as he drew his sword to prepare to rush in.

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Daenerys Targaryen

May 2019

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